An artist is born…

Donated by the artist when he joined the Acade...

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Yesterday, Christopher said “Mami, can I talk to you? I want to ask you a question.”  I said “sure of course we can talk”.  And he asked me… “Mami, do you know that feeling you get when you feel like you want to make something but you don’t know what it is?” And I thought wow, I had never actually talked about that feeling, but I did know it.  The stirring feeling that I get in my chest when something is brewing on the inside yearning to come out and even I don’t know what it is.  I told him “yes, Chris I do know that feeling.  When you feel like there is something that you want to make but you don’t know.  Sometimes I’ll start writing when that happens, and then it will be a poem.   Or I’ll start to draw and whatever it is just takes shape slowly”.  He was so excited that I knew that feeling that he was referring to.  But I thought it was amazing that he had that feeling and wanted to discuss it.  Christopher looks like he’s going to be a little artist.  I’m not sure what it is he will make, maybe art, maybe poetry, maybe even music.  But something is simmering inside of him to come out… He sang me a short song that he had made up too… I want to record it and post it here, although I’m not really sure how. ..

Going Back in time…

If I could go back in time, I wouldn’t change a thing in my life…

Art Journal Spread ready to be journalled

But If I could go back in time and talk to my 16-year-old self I’d tell her to take her time. That things might not be the way she wants them at that moment, but that it will all come in good time. I’d tell her to remember to always be true to herself, and to keep up with the things that rejuvenate her, like reading, writing and creating art. The pleasure that comes with those things will be so much longer lasting then the temporary pleasure that will come with partying. And to remember to keep things in perspective. Two years goes by in the blink of an eye, so will high school come to an end too quickly as will college. I’d tell her to be true to herself above all else. Oh and to keep a better journal, cause I want to go back and relive all of our memories through all of her wonderful journal entries. lol

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I never realized how much my kids need me, I mean really need me when I was working full time.  I still remember those crazy harried days.  Morning madness to get everyone dressed and out to before-care, which was followed by a long day at school, a few hours at after-care, after which most days they would be the last children picked up from their school/ babysitter.  I’d come home and make dinner of chicken nuggets, or just buy them on the way home, bathe them and send them to bed.  While I’d run around washing clothes, or trying my best to do some home cleaning so that my neglected husband wouldn’t feel what he was, neglected. 

When I was laid off, my purpose for existence was gone.  My job being the #1 priority in my life had left me feeling useless and like a loser.  Cause I hadn’t given up, I was going to go the distance at work.  I was like a pitbull there once I sunk my teeth in I wasn’t going to let go. 

But now my purpose for existence is God and my family.  Yeah I know there was a big jump in there… how did all of that happen? Well, little by little really.  God had been calling me for so long.  He missed me.  But I had been too busy with my job to answer his call.  But once I did, the change in me was unbelievable.  I became a devoted wife and mother.  And I actually became good at those things too.

And I love doing those things… being with my husband, being with my children.  And I began to notice that throughout the day, my kids will NEED me. I mean really need me.  Even for something so little (or so big depending on how you look at it) as a hug.  And those little things, those little bits of rejuvenation are so important.  I love being able to be here for them to give them those things now.  Reassurance, words of encouragement, to teach them things… now for the first time in a long time I have no guilt associated with being a mother.  And I’m not saying that full time working mothers should have guilt.  When I worked I always believed, and I still do, that good child care was critical to enabling me to work with an easy mind.  Staying at home is not an option for everyone.  But it just speaks to how much I have grown as an individual that I am happy doing this, being that mom that stays home, because I never thought I could.  But I’m here doing this and I’m so happy.

Renaissance of the soul…

Check this link out… Crazy right? I LOVE this about my church. All of the people are young like me and just LOVE God. Have you ever yearned for that in your heart? Just to know Him? To know what it is everybody talks about when they talk about being close to Him and loving Him? 2010 has definitely been my year to discover all of that…

so there’s a countdown here… 2 more days until what I’m not sure… but I can’t wait for whatever it is!!

I used to love her…

Dance in my shoes…

reminisce a time
thick as thieves
never apart
Dancing til dawn
Secrets a blasphemy
to the sacred bond
forged sisterhood

Now miles
rip pages apart
and force
new walks
in solitary feet
lines drawn in the sand
Square off
i’ll turn my cheek

clambor to the throne
so feet can tap alone
on my laundry room floor
a joyous new tune

never alone
cradled in perfection
the gaping wound
sure to be filled soon

Fresh White page…

blank canvas under my burning finger tips

eyes close

fingers feel

heart beats



thoughts paused

thoughts caught

stuck on to the paper

moments in time

harpooned into stillness

captured for

turning you over in my palm

feeling the smooth grittiness of memories

long forgotten

smashed flat

pressed away in darkest deepest corners

never to be remembered

hope exposed

life untold

dreams smoke

oozed and seep through pores

too gaping to be refined

words jumble

minds entwined

wounds heal

love resounds

eyes opened

bright page

the cats meow


so that’s it for me today… just a bunch of random nothing and everything all here on the page. my daily soul expose to my followers…

Strawberry kisses

Do you remember

blowing wishes on the wind

white thistles grabbed onto air as

your dreams floated off into the universe

to be caught only by God

and breathed back into your life

Prince Charming on White Horses

always ready with a song and a smile

curly haired cherubian babies to be born to you

laughing and smiling never a wet eye in the house

sweet kisses like strawberries always on your lips and your cheeks

every morning would be Christmas

every night would be New Years

Paradise a playground only for grown ups

remembering those wishes blown into the wind

so long ago

feeling happy that one wish did get up to God

and breathed back to me…

those strawberry kisses

Sing-Song Poem

Sensational Styles

Soloist strong

something special

sooo sarong

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Don’t Judge Me…

You hear it all of the time now. People will make random statments about anything crazy- pet peeves, strange habits, oddities… and just follow it up with “Don’t Judge Me”. The phrase serving to absolve them of anything that preceded it, no matter the statement…

We’ve grown to become such a society that implications of a potential judgment by someone else will automatically dissuade any possible pushback. So the challenge “don’t judge me” is enough to stop other people from commenting or voicing their own personal opinion about any statement that was made… here are some examples…

“I got trashed last night… worst hangover ever. Don’t judge me. ”
“Unless you’ve lived my life, dont judge me”
“I love Aaliyah’s music still! dont judge me. ”

But guess what, at some point, you will be judged by the one true Judge. So all of you yakking about “don’t judge me” and daring others not to look into your world and make judgements shouldn’t be so hasty TO JUDGE others in return. The one thing that you don’t want, you do… How hypocritical is that?

“Do not judge, and you will not be judged. Do not condemn, and you will not be condemned. Forgive, and you will be forgiven.” Luke 6:36-38

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