Love on a Plane

So what would life be like if all parents could put their children on a plane somewhere when they got tired?  An American woman recently took her adopted Russian 7 year old son and did just that.  She had enough of his violence and his threats and I guess his unwillingness to love and be loved.  I don’t know why, but I really can’t understand how someone could take on years of adoption forms, visits, processes, clearances, passports, visas… I mean really how could you do all of that, and then just decide one day that this family that you’ve created through your own blood, sweat and tears — that it’s not a family? 

This society has begun to believe that things that are meant to be forever, no longer are or have to be.  Marriages can now be ended in a few short months with divorces.  And most aren’t even really marrying anymore, just moving in together to make inevitable breakups easier and less complicated.  But now parents can just stop being parents?  They can essentially divorce their children?  Where does it end really?  Where will it all end?  What kind of children will we be raising that won’t even know the security of a family? The one place you are supposed to be able to always feel that unconditional love and security. 

Do you know what it would take for me to put my own child on a plane and just give them away?  I could never do that.  Granted, I gave birth to all of my children, we bonded at birth. But I wouldn’t even send my adopted cat back to the shelter where I got her on a bus.  I couldn’t even treat her like that.  How can you do that an innocent child?  I wonder where the adoption agency was during the whole time that he’s been here.  Did they step in?  Did they offer support?  Did the family get counseling?  It just seems to me that Americans are falling “in like” with adopting foreign children.  It’s the new thing now.  Everyone’s doing it.  Made popular by Angelina Jolie and Madonna and other celebrities.  It looks great in pictures.  But in reality, it’s a child.  Not a purse.  Not an accessory.  Not a prop.  Its a CHILD. 

And children come with issues, with problems, with the unexpected… bad dreams, wet beds, stomach viruses that leave you sopping up vomit at 3am.  But as a parent you have to be willing to LOVE and LOVE and LOVE.  Get a counselor, see a therapist, seek a  professional.  Just don’t give up.  They are our future, this world.  And if you aren’t ready for that committment, that forever committment, then you’re better off going to animal shelter to adopt a pet.

5 Comments (+add yours?)

  1. elenaramirez
    Apr 12, 2010 @ 15:54:45

    Wow. How sad, I felt for the child as well. But God knows, and has a plan, I pray for this child as well. Great insight. Thanks for your commentary on this. Parenting, is serious business, and your right you have to LOVE. For that comes from God. Blessings, Elena


    • latinabella
      Apr 12, 2010 @ 16:24:05

      Hello Elena, thanks for stopping by! Yes, God must have a plan for him that is bigger than this. It just hurts to see him suffer through the here and now of those steps.


  2. elenaramirez
    Apr 12, 2010 @ 17:50:40

    Well God bless you dear heart….Glad to have made your acquaintance as well. To one hermana from another. Have a great day, stop and say hello every once in a while too…..Elena


  3. Julie Leon
    Apr 16, 2010 @ 14:30:30

    I completely agree! Very well said. I just feel bad now for all the potentially good parents that have been put on hold by a system in Russia now scared to trust any prospective American parents. There are bad biological parents too, who do things that defy comprehension. I don’t think it had anything to do with the fact that the child was adopted. This event says more about the psychological problems of the MOTHER than the little boy. And if he wasn’t screwed up enough before, how is he going to feel now? We can’t give up on a child, any child, ever.


    • latinabella
      Apr 16, 2010 @ 15:08:03

      So true! Who knows if in perhaps just six more months of dedicated love and attention, if he would have blossomed? My cat who I adopted at 9 years of age, had been abused in the past. We adopted her in November and now, in April, some FIVE months later, she’s just starting to feel “at home” here. And she’s a cat! Not a human child. As parents, we can’t ever give up, especially when it comes to our children. And if something doesn’t work, it’s our responsibility to try again. That is love. Pure and simple.


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