The Wedding Dress I lost…

Today I was digging through boxes in the garage looking for clothing. Clothing that had been boxed away that have finally begun to fit me again. Expanding my tiny wardrobe and I came across it. In a huge box, crumpled beneath layers of dresses was my wedding dress. Wrinkled and cold and long forgotten. Not delicately placed but tossed inside the box to later leave me questioning, “what did I do with my wedding dress?”

I’d repurposed it in the past. My mother had always kept her wedding dress sealed in a special air tight container just in case one day my sister or I could use it on our wedding days. But, my sister didn’t like it and it never would have fit me. So trapped it stayed in its’ cardboard shrine. No, my dress was not to be enshrined. I read a magazine article once about a table cover that had been made out of an old prom dress that was bought in a second hand store. I thought it a lovely idea. So I covered my hall table with it for a while and it gave it a fantastic touch. One day though, amidst my moves, I had boxed it up along with some others and forgot about it. Today, I pulled and tugged and dragged that huge monster box inside. I found things that I had forgotten and missed. My paddle that I wore as a neophyte in my sorority, that I had made myself. Shoes without mates.

I have come so far, but it seems just full circle. Back where I started when I used to have that dress on the side table on the top of the stairs in my own little town house. I gave up my freedom then because of fear. I was afraid to be alone. I was afraid that I couldn’t do it on my own. But my fear dragged me down deeper and deeper into the depths. Until I broke away again, only to return once more. And so here I am, here I sit. Here I stand. Here I wash, here I clean. Here I am in this house. In this place. In this marriage once more. But how could one ever expect to have a full blossoming apple tree if the seeds were planted on rocky ground… If the roots were never able to grab hold, how can the tree nourish itself and grow? One has to take that tree and find another soil that is fertile and replant that tree. Nourish it, love it, water it and watch the transformation and growth unfold. That tree is me. I am replanting myself. I want to grow. I want to change. I want to be the best me that I never even dreamed I could be. with all my fruit nearby me. 🙂 

Interested in repurposing your wedding dress?  Take a look at this article for ideas on things you can do with your dress instead of shoving it in a box or giving it away.